Dear Aisha and David: I am a 66-year-old woman who has had diabetes for over 64 years. My husband is 52. He wants sex two or more times day. I hate it. I have no sexual drive, and most of the time it is painful. It was not always like this, but he has always wanted more sex than any man I know! We talk about things, but he basically ignores a lot of what I say when it comes to sex. He is actually a very caring person and has put up with a lot considering all the complications I have after 64 years of diabetes. We have been together for 18 years (married for nine). He waits on me hand and foot. I have to tell him to let me do things myself!
Dear Sex & Diabetes, I have had type 1 diabetes since the age of ten. When my husband and I were first married, I had no trouble with my sex drive. After the births of our three children, however, I noticed a big decrease in desire. I have also had a hysterectomy and have gained 50 pounds since we were first married. Do you think my weight has something to do with it? I really don't feel it is fair to put my husband through my lack of desire. He still seems to want me.
Women hate their bodies. At least, an overwhelming collection of statistical data suggests as much. Consider the following facts compiled by Liz Dittrich, Ph.D, at About-Face.org, which aims to combat negative and distorted images of women:
How would you describe a minor hiccup in your daily care that just happens out of the blue, especially when just moments before, you felt fine and everything seemed perfect? That’s a ‘diabetes bad hair day’ according to Divabetic, a national nonprofit diabetes outreach organization, currently on tour with its free national diabetes outreach program, ‘Novo Nordisk Presents: Divabetic – Makeover Your Diabetes.’
Romance is different than sex. Sex is an "act" that you "perform," and, as
such, it can be thwarted by worries about failure and performance, especially in
people with diabetes-related complications. Romance is another thing entirely.
Jan and Kevin were starting to “get romantic” when Jan noticed that Kevin was, uncharacteristically, losing interest. His skin had become moist and clammy and his movements slowed. Jan ran for his monitor. Kevin checked his blood glucose—it was in the low 50s. Fortunately, he had some glucose tablets at the bedside and quickly treated his low.
Valentine's Day is a time we think of the loved ones who are there for us—whether they are parents, siblings, friends or a spouse. I think of my wife, Nadia, who from the day we met liked me for who I am.
Having diabetes can produce a whole series of feelings and emotions. Examining these "emotional aspects" will help us take care of ourselves both psychologically and physically. In this column, Daryn Stier addresses some of the issues that often arise among people with diabetes and their family and friends.
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