Give Your Relationship a Reality Check

| Feb 1, 2004

Having a chronic disease like diabetes can put a great deal of pressure on a relationship. In fact the divorce rate for people with chronic diseases is known to be higher than that of the general population.

It's important for everyone to carefully consider a potential life partner; this is particularly true for a person with diabetes. If you are seriously thinking of making a commitment to someone, this reality check will help you determine what ingredients are important in a relationship and whether or not the potential is there for success. If you are already in a committed relationship, the relationship reality check will allow you to identify areas that may need improved communication or extra attention.

After you have finished reading the article, use the seven key components to rate your relationship with your significant other:

The Seven Key Components

1. Emotional

One way to begin evaluating your relationship is to ask yourself whether or not you basically “like” the person.

Is he or she really your close friend? Do you share interests? Is the person a good companion? Is your partner romantic, and do you feel romantically toward your partner?

2. Intellectual

Long-term, positive and sustained relationships are most successful when both partners value being involved with a growing, caring and intelligent person. Is your partner interesting? Is he or she on a search for learning? Is it important for him or her to do new things and do them well? Level of education is not necessarily an indicator on intellectual ability.

3. Physical and Sexual

In most new relationships, this area usually gets a very high score. As couples fall into a sexual routine, however, their romantic and loving behavior often is replaced with a contest to see who can help the other person reach orgasm fastest.

The physical aspect of a relationship requires work, attention to detail and an open, positive attitude. That attractive person you fell in love with 10 years ago may be now be bald, overweight or developing crow’s feet or other signs of aging. Your attraction to your partner needs a basis more than skin deep to last through a lifetime together.

4. Communication

If the problems are minor and a couple communicates well together, the couple can often find solutions that prevent further deterioration of the relationship. Good communication requires being willing and having an effective style of communication. One method that works well is known as active listening. Sit down with your loved one, hold hands, look each other in the eyes and ask your partner to tell you what he or she needs to say. You then summarize and repeat back what your partner said before responding. Then your partner remains quiet and listens closely as you express your attitudes or feelings about the topic. He or she then summarizes what you have said before responding to your comments.

5. Timing

Sometimes people who are well matched do not stay together because the timing isn’t right. One person might be willing to make a total commitment but the other person will not because of issues related to school, finances or family.

Timing is a major factor that can determine whether or not a couple will commit to marriage. Within a marriage, the couple’s daily schedule and whether they spend much time together, or, more important, enjoy spending that time together, are important influences on the relationship.

6. Attitudes About Mother or Father

Many experts believe that one of the major predictors of whether or not a couple will sustain a long-term relationship is the woman's attitude about her father and the man's attitude about his mother. If the woman's father was physically, sexually or verbally abusive, it might be very difficult for her to trust or respect men. If the man doesn’t respect or trust his mother, his ability to respect and trust women could be greatly diminished.

7. Miscellaneous

Other important aspects of a relationship that you should carefully consider are:

 

If you marry someone who is passionate about saving money and you love spending it, you are likely to have serious financial disagreements that could even lead to ending the marriage.

Many couples have conflicts about child rearing. Others fight about whether or not to have household pets or go camping, or about food or smoking. Think about what’s important to you and to your partner, and see if there are major differences that could result in conflict.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Categories: Diabetes, Diabetes, Food, Inspiration, Kids & Teens, Losing weight, Sexual Issues


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