Diabetes Rock Bottom: How It Led Me to the Greatest Gift of All

My finger was on the self-destruct button.

| Oct 17, 2011

I'm just going to come out and say it, the way people do in addiction meetings when they have hit "rock bottom." Hi, my name is Meagan. I was a very uncooperative diabetic for a great many years. I felt lonely, and I hated being different. I rarely checked my blood sugars. In fact, there were times where I didn't even know where my meter was.

I was diagnosed as a teenager with type 1 diabetes. I didn't want to change, didn't want to take shots, count carbohydrates, or test my blood, and certainly didn't want to go to the doctor. I stubbornly dug in my heels and simply refused to fully take care of myself. In the early days, I fooled a lot of people into thinking I was okay, that I knew what I was doing (with the exception of my doctors). But fooling people wasn't doing me any favors. I was truly only hurting myself.

I took the shots I was "supposed" to take with my doctor's direction, but nothing to correct because I barely tested my blood sugars. I drank, stayed out late, and ignored my diabetes. I married someone who was completely unaccepting of my diabetes, and with no one to stop me, my finger was on the self-destruct button.

I finally realized there was a problem when my husband started making hurtful comments about how "damaged" I was. While I was battling an infection, ending up in the doctor's office several weeks in a row, the comments got worse. During an a argument, he told me he wished I would just die, and I found my rock bottom. I didn't want to die. I needed to take better care of myself. As soon as I was back on my feet, I left. My diabetes and I deserved better.

A short time later, I began dating a man who was accepting of my diabetes from day one. He was genuinely concerned about my behavior, and he called me on it. He gently pushed me to make better choices, like testing my blood sugar more often and taking care of myself. He told me he wanted me to stay healthy so we could have a long life together.

Thirteen years after our marriage, he still praises me for testing. He wakes me when I accidentally fall asleep on the couch to make sure I test, take my long-lasting insulin, and eat something. He sympathizes as I rant about diabetes. He checks on me in the mornings to make sure I'm not low. He walks with me or stands smiling at the sidelines when I participate in my diabetes fundraising events.

I am proud to say I earned the American Diabetes Association titles "Red Rider" and "Red Strider" last year. The Tour de Cure and Step Out walk were a big part of finding my strength and meeting others like me. My husband is my diabetes cheerleader to the end. He lives with me through the ups and downs of diabetes every day: crying when I cry, smiling when I smile, and, oh yes - swearing when I swear.

His support is 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There is no blame, no spirit-crushing words, only unconditional love and support. He is my hero. I will always remember the difficulties I've been through and the mistakes I've made to get here, but today - my name is Meagan, and I'm a proud, supported, and strong diabetic.


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Categories: Accepting Diabetes, Diabetes, Diabetes, Step Out, Testing blood Sugars, Tour de Cure, Type 1 Diabetes, Type 1 Issues

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Posted by Anonymous on 17 October 2011

Is this supposed to be inspiring? Basically you couldn't deal with diabetes on your own and some man had to do it for you. As a recently diagnosed diabetic I find this story depressing and counter-productive.

Posted by Anonymous on 17 October 2011

i wish i had anyone in my life to support me, all i get is chastised and left alone, you are really lucky...

Posted by Anonymous on 17 October 2011

I am glad to read that you now have a supporting spouse. Diabetes does not only affect you but everybody in your life. You have to surround yourself with positivity in order to have positive results. Best of luck to you moving forward.

Posted by Anonymous on 18 October 2011

Meagan, that's so lovely. As the parent of a child with T1D, I am a carer, supporter,cheerleader etc. Many people on the outside do not understand this condition, and you have found a wonderful man who does. What a treasure! And well done to you for learning to take care of yourself. It isn't easy to do anything 24/7. Even those who have a passion for sport or a hobby, take a break sometimes. There is no vacation from T1D and you are to be admired for doing what you have to do. I wish you both a very long and happy life together, just as your husband has hoped for you.

Posted by rodinsc on 18 October 2011

I am glad to see you now have the husband you deserve.

Posted by Anonymous on 18 October 2011

you go girl- always good to hear a sad story find a happy ending!

Posted by Joan Hoover on 19 October 2011

Three cheers for Megan's supportive husband. Thoughtful, caring, informed and supportive family members can't be bought, but they are more precious than gold, and we need to remember to appreciate their vital role.

Posted by JoyfulDiabetic on 19 October 2011

Thanks for sharing your story, Meagan. I agree with the importance of a positive, supporting partner. 

Posted by Anonymous on 19 October 2011

It's great to hear other's stories because it really reminds us that we are not alone and we are not the only person going through these things. I too didn't care and was an uncooperative diabetic as a teenager, and my rock bottom was wanting to die (not necessarily because of being diabetic), but it certainly didn't help. However, once that threat started becoming more of a reality I realized it wasn't what I wanted. Thanks for sharing

Posted by Anonymous on 19 October 2011

A wake up call for me, thanks for posting a great story about your fight with Diabetes..and how your new husband put you on the right track with his understanding and encouragments..

Posted by goozer on 19 October 2011

Thank you for your honesty. And congratulations on the changes you have made. You have a wonderful husband and must feel great about yourself.

Posted by Anonymous on 19 October 2011

My 16 year old daughter is also type I and does exactly the same things you do as a teen. Simply she does not care about diabetes and its complications. She does not like to be different as you said, he does not want to measure her bg any time, she┬┤s really done with diabetes. Hope she finds a husband so caring and loving just like yours because your first one really sucks. Congratulations!!

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