Around the Table: A Dinner Host's Responsibility With Paula Deen

ABC's The View

Rachel Garlinghouse

| May 23, 2012

Recently, I was cuddling my sleeping toddler and watching a recorded episode of The View. If you've never seen the show, five well-known women discuss "hot topics" and interview guests. On the day I watched, their guest co-host was Paula Deen, the Southern chef who is best known for adding endless sticks of butter to her recipes.

Paula has been criticized for hiding her type 2 diabetes diagnoses from her fans. It is only in recent months that she's shared her disease and discussed it publicly. She's lost 30 pounds, as she stated on The View, and still enjoys comfort foods, but only one day a week. This is where the problem lies.

Now before I share the rest of Paula's story, let me tell you that I'm no saint. I have type 1 diabetes, and I work hard to keep it under control by eating a generally healthy diet, exercising daily, and getting enough sleep. But, I do have my faults. For one, I love dessert. For another, I love dessert. Oh, and did I mention, I love dessert?

I fight my dessert-obsession every day, and not just for my own benefit. I am raising two little girls who are watching my every move. How I react to my diabetes, how I speak of my body, even how I gaze at myself in the mirror, is being scrutinized and repeated by my children. They are learning how to view themselves and their health through me. Therefore, I understand that it's ok to mess up sometimes, but it's not ok to let all proverbial hell break loose. I am a role model for my girls and, therefore, I have a responsibility to treat my body in a way I wish for my girls to treat theirs.

Which brings me back to Paula. She continued by saying she allows herself to indulge just one day a week, the day her family comes over to her home to eat. My heart sunk a bit.
It amazes me how many family dining hosts believe that preparing and serving unhealthy foods to their family members is a way to show love. Gather around the table and heap your plate with steaming piles of fat and sugar. Once you are so full you could burst, here's some pie, cake, and cobbler. Would you like ice cream with that?

Paula stated on the show that she was shocked when the doctor told her she had diabetes. The show hosted a slew of other guests, many of them medical professionals, who shared the devastating effects of diseases like diabetes. As shared, diabetes is the gateway to many other major health problems---stroke, heart disease, kidney failure, amputation, blindness---the list goes on and on.

So why in the world would Paula, a woman who can afford the best medical professionals, a woman who can afford to buy the healthiest foods available, and a woman who can turn rocks into gourmet food, use Sundays to indulge herself and her family in her old habits, habits that lead her to a life-altering and potentially deadly disease?

No doubt, diabetes is confusing and misunderstood, and not just by the general public. Even many medical professionals are bewildered by diabetes and its complications. The diabetes web is cast over many aspects of life---nutrition, exercise, sleep, hormones, other illnesses, medication, It's complicated. It's ever changing. It's exhausting.

However, once someone gets past the initial shock of the diagnosis and is becoming increasingly armed with knowledge, is there an excuse to not make positive and permanent changes in the way one prepares and serves meals to family members? At what point will someone like Paula decide that enough is enough, and that now is the time to create new family traditions that promote, not destroy, her family's health?

I'm not talking about a slice of pie or a serving of mashed potatoes. I'm talking about a continuous acceptance and promotion of an unhealthy lifestyle. 
You might picture a family dinner at Paula's house as a joyful and entertaining experience. At least I do. I imagine her home is like her---full of Southern charm and incredible hospitality. Her dining room must be a dream, decorated like it's from Better Homes and Gardens magazine. I bet the home is noisy---full of laughter stemming from family jokes and shrieks coming from the grandkids. It's a happy place where relatives plop on the couches to watch a ball game or sink onto a kitchen stool to watch Paula peel vegetables. There is probably much love and sharing.

The funny thing is this same experience can be had without unhealthy foods. Food, no doubt, is the center of many of our celebrations, even our times of mourning, such as a funeral dinner. Food brings people together. Over steaming plates, we laugh, we cry, we argue, we share, we learn, we joke. When did we decide that lean meats, raw veggies, homemade whole wheat bread, and a no-sugar added fruit cobbler wasn't enough? Why do we have to pour soda into grandkids' glasses instead of water? Why does the consumption of known unhealthy food and drink (known even to those who don't have diabetes) an acceptable form of loving?

The pro-diabetes food table will evolve over the years. (If you haven't heard already, the current generation of children will be the first to have a shorter lifespan than their parents.) More chairs will be empty, because family members will die of heart attacks or strokes. One family member, blind at the young age of fifty-five, is being lead to the table by her daughter. Meanwhile, a few children sit together on one end of the table; three of the four of them are overweight. They lack the energy to play outside, so instead they sit, each playing with their own hand held video game system, empty glasses of lemonade in front of them. An aunt wheels her husband to the table in his wheelchair; his left lower leg was amputated earlier that year due to his diabetes. Finally, grandma waddles into the scene. She's carrying a bowl of steaming white pasta, and she's out of breath from walking the few feet it takes to get from the kitchen to the dining room. She takes a seat in what used to be her husband's chair. 
And so it continues. But it doesn't have to.

I'm not saying it's easy to change, nor am asking anyone to eat perfectly healthy at all times. But I think it's time we stop sugarcoating the realty of diabetes and its complications. And it's also time to stop passing the disease on to children and grandchildren, one family dinner and one heaping plate at a time.
---Information taken from ABC's The View from 5/21/2012

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Categories: ABC Television, Amputation, Blind/Blindness, Complications & Care, Desserts, Diabetes, Diabetes, Diagnosis, Dinner, Exercise and Nutrition, Food, Foods, Fruit, Good Nutrition, Health, Healthy, Heart Care & Heart Disease, Insulin, Kidney Failure, Medications, No Sugar, Recipe, Recipes, Recipes, Stroke, Stroke, The View, Type 1 Issues, Type 2 Diabetes, Type 2 Issues

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Posted by Steve Parker, M.D. on 23 May 2012

What's wrong with fatty low-carb foods?


Posted by Anonymous on 24 May 2012

I disagree. As a type 1 diabetic myself I believe in "everything in moderation". Your post comes across as if you are etremely strict in your food choices. I choose, and I choose for my chidren, to eat everything in moderation. I don't tell them there are "bad foods". They are healthy, definitely not overweight, and full of energy. There are extremes on both sides, and you seem to be to be extreme. I'm O.K. with my kids having both mashed potatoes AND dessert with their meals. Just my opinion...

Posted by Anonymous on 24 May 2012

My head is saying: "Paula didn't describe how she 'indulges' and that indulging could be a slice of cake." While I don't want to sell Paula short, Rachel's blog is awesome. She is absolutely 100% right in challenging Paula and those of us who say "It's OK to indulge." A newly diagnosed diabetic should not be indulging, but should be learning better ways to eat and cook. Get this blog post into Paula's hands, as well as those at The View. It's important information that should, no MUST, be shared.
Thank you Rachel.

Posted by tonyp3101 on 24 May 2012

I have to agree with your article 100%! I do not think your view is extreme, I think it is just HONEST. People want to blame everything but their lifestyle and the foods they love. If it were used it moderation, hey, that would be great. But let's be honest folks--is is not used in moderation. You eat until you can hardly get up from the table, and then smile while someone else brings you dessert. Then you try to "sleep it off"? It is just WRONG.

Posted by Anonymous on 24 May 2012

I think Rachel is absolutely right. If you read what she wrote, she says the occasional "bad" dessert is not off her list, but rather that in general, it's better to make healthy choices almost all the time. Foods with chemical preservatives, trans fats, hydrogenated fats, high glucose corn syrup, etc., are bad foods, whether you want to call them "bad" or not. The choices of healthy versions of prepared foods and healthy whole foods from which to prepare your own are both becoming more and more easily available. Considering the epidemic of obesity, type 2 diabetes and other formerly rare health conditions, especially in children, it is time to take a look at how we eat, not only for ourselves individually but what we consider food for family get-togethers. It's time to teach our children to enjoy healthier foods and not see fat-laden, sugar-laden desserts as a reward for finishing everything on their plates or for good grades or a good performance, or whatever. There are so many fantastically flavorful, and yet healthy, recipe options easily accessible online, there aren't many excuses left to choose unhealthy options. If time is an issue, a sundae of fresh fruit, low or fat-free natural yogurt (dairy or otherwise), and maybe a drizzle of maple syrup or a sprinkling of brown sugar or agave or stevia or erythritol, is fast, easy and healthy. Show your love by serving food that's not going to kill your family.

Posted by Anonymous on 24 May 2012

I have to disagree. We all choose ways to maintain our health that work for us. For you, it might be a slice of pie once a week. If that does it for you, then great. If Paula finds it easiest to say that one day per week she is not going to pay attention to a strict diet and that helps her maintain healthy eating the rest of the week, then that is what works for her. Very few of us will always eat perfectly and we each need to find a way to meet our personal goals with a maintainable plan.

For my T1D son, we teach that everything is OK in moderation, everybody needs good exercise in their lives. This is a lifestyle we think he will be able to maintain for his entire life. After all, it is a marathon, not a sprint.

Posted by Anonymous on 25 May 2012

I agree 100% with the writer. It should be a crime what parents do to their childrens health after knowing that Diabetes is becoming epidemic. We should all become educators of healthy living and eating.

Posted by Anonymous on 25 May 2012

I disagree. I think that being too strict becomes unachievable. My partner has type 1 and would rather not be called 'diabetic' - he has diabetes. He feels that the condition itself will shorten his life and affect many things like his vision, kidneys etc.. He would rather enjoy well the shorter life he has, than never touch alcohol or pudding ever again. As a chef I am sorry to say that it is a fact that we all enjoy the taste of fatty, sweet and salty food more than healthy food - that's why it sells well and it's hard to diet! I'm afraid sweetners and margarines have proved to be even less healthy for us than small amounts of sugar and butter - so enjoy life in moderation, party sometimes and don't punish yourself for having diabetes. LIVE!

Posted by Anonymous on 25 May 2012

I disagree. I think that being too strict becomes unachievable. My partner has type 1 and would rather not be called 'diabetic' - he has diabetes. He feels that the condition itself will shorten his life and affect many things like his vision, kidneys etc.. He would rather enjoy well the shorter life he has, than never touch alcohol or pudding ever again. As a chef I am sorry to say that it is a fact that we all enjoy the taste of fatty, sweet and salty food more than healthy food - that's why it sells well and it's hard to diet! I'm afraid sweetners and margarines have proved to be even less healthy for us than small amounts of sugar and butter - so enjoy life in moderation, party sometimes and don't punish yourself for having diabetes. LIVE!

Posted by Anonymous on 25 May 2012

I am Type 2...don't fit the "profile" so widely publicized of overweight couch potatoes and never have. I am a petite 59 year old woman without fast food addictions and haven't actually fried anything in years...pan sauteed, but not fried! People who have learned of my diabetes have actually said, "You don't look diabetic" as if this disease has a look! That being said, I believe Paula and her family should continue to enjoy a Sunday meal of good ole southern favorites. One meal doesn't make you fat or diabetic and one won't make you thin. By enjoying a once a week celebration and learning to eat healthy the rest of the week she and her family are making a choice that fits their lifestyle. Her A1C is probably not negatively affected by this indulgence and looking forward to this Sunday indulgence might even help her stay on track the rest of the week.

Posted by kilty on 25 May 2012

This is just too much. Paula Deen is a great woman. She makes terrific foods and she smokes. It is her right to chose her way of life and plan for the lives of kids.
You ain't going to live forever so I say enjoy what you can while you can.
People lose legs, arms go bind for a lotta reasons. Wars do this real well. Don't see anyone complaining about them.

Posted by Anonymous on 26 May 2012

Thank you! This article hit the nail on the head!

Posted by Anonymous on 26 May 2012

Extreme? Hardly...

Yes even with diabetes we can eat all things in moderation, but with the rest of the world so balanced towards high carb, processed junk food, it is up to us who know better to set an example--particularly if we have children who are likely to inherit our diabetes. What better place to learn healthy habits than at home? The next generation is not going to learn about a healthy diet from watching TV and viewing the ads, and efforts to improve school lunches are laudable but constrained by economic factors that favor the cheapest foods available. People who grow up eating junk food pass that on to the next generation, and the best place to stop that cycle is at home...

Posted by Anonymous on 26 May 2012

No, this post is right on. As a recently diagnosed type 2 diabetic, I wish that I'd learned that love isn't about food. I might have been able to put it off a few more years.

(NOTE: I weighed just 150 pounds when I was diagnosed. I blame a poor diet and unfortunate genetics. BUT I've gone very low carb and I'm under control, as long as I don't eat crappy high carb food.)

Posted by Anonymous on 27 May 2012

I certainly hope that you don't pass on your prejudical comments,attitudes and stereotypes about type-2 to your future generations. To imply that all T2's are overweight and eat junk or unhealthy food, don't exercise, and suffer from all of the diabetes complications is just fostering the stereotype. I realize that even PD said that T2 is caused by being fat (NOT)but that attitude is so invasive in today's society that it's like pushing a boulder uphill to try to dispute it. There are many thin, otherwise healthy T2's, just as there are fat, unfit T1's! Apparently you believe all of the media hype tying T2 to the war on obesity and softdrinks. Too bad you didn't take the time to uncover the real facts.


Posted by Anonymous on 18 July 2012

As a Diabetes Educator, with the recent "unveiling" of Paula Deen's diabetes, I find that I now have more questions from my class participants regarding how to maintain a diet filled with unhealthy food choices versus making the switch to healthy options. I wish to congratulate Rachel for her candidness in this article!! We truly ARE what we EAT, and even if done in moderation, high fat, high carb, high calorie choices do catch up with us and our children. It frustrates me to no end that our society assigns "pleasure" to high fat, huge portioned meals - inundating us with the ideology that we must FEAST at holidays and be served on platter sized plates when dining out. The enjoyment of eating should be focused on the joy of sharing and conversing with those around us, as Rachel very wisely points out in her article. Well done!!

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