Sometimes I Feel Like a Total Slacker

Meagan Esler

| Aug 10, 2012

I don't sleep till noon, wait for other people to clean up my messes, or put off doing the laundry until I'm down to my last clean shirt. Still, when it comes to my diabetes, sometimes I can't help but feel like a total slacker.

I feel like a slacker when trying to stay on top of my blood sugars.  Although I test often during the day, I occasionally miss a time. When I do test and see an off number, I'm left wondering how long my blood sugars have been out of proper range.  I'm certain that technology could help, but I don't have a CGM or insulin pump. Consequently, I'm left just trying to remember to test and correct as often as I can.

I feel like a slacker when I miss the recommended timeframe for my next doctor appointment.  Sometimes I'm late hitting the lab for my A1C test.  Although I feel badly about it, and I know my doctor gets a bit frustrated with me when it happens, I have a million things other than diabetes going on in life.  Visiting the doctor is also expensive, even with insurance.  I am the only person in my household with a chronic illness, but I'm not the only family member who needs to visit the doctor.  Sometimes we're paying off procedures for months afterward, and it's easy to put off incurring even more medical bills.  Still, I know that regular visits are crucial to good health, and I feel guilty when the days stretch past my doctor-recommended appointment.
I feel like a slacker when I don't exercise daily.  I have an extremely active job, in which I move furniture daily, hang artwork, and do a variety of other physical tasks.  When I get home from work, I am sore and exhausted, ready to fall on the couch and forget about exercising.  I do try to get out on my bike, take a walk, lift weights, or play sports with my husband whenever I can, but I worry that it's never quite enough to help me live a long life with my diabetes.

I try to remind myself that even with my faults, I'm not really a slacker.  There are no perfect people.  We are all working to be the best that we can.  I want to have a healthy life with my diabetes, and I know that it's worth some sacrifices.  Even with the best of intentions, however, I realize that my diabetes management will always have flaws.  Daily life will offer up challenges that throw me off course for a bit.  I just have to get myself back on track, as we all do.      

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Categories: A1c Test, Diabetes, Diabetes Health, Diabetic, Exercise

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Posted by Anonymous on 14 August 2012

hi, i also know & undeerstand that i am total loser. when my health gets neglected. my nurse mentions that i am making excuses. but after working whole day full time job + family needs to look after. i am so exhausted to even move 1 mm. i just drop dead on bed. & to make matters worse your supposed to be better half complains that u dont look after him the way it used to be. but i dont know how to get that so short more energy to do bit of exercise. where i shd find it. how i shd find it. i keep wondering for that. if i do find it then i have to make adjustments of many sorts to find soemtime for exercise & still very low in energy to do any exercise. GOOD LUCK TO US LADIES WHO R TRYING TO B SUPERWOMAN & STILL NEED TO LOOK AFTER US.

Posted by eelady on 15 August 2012

I am like that, too. I thought I was the only one tired of dealing with my disease even though I know what I need to do. Sometimes I just get tired of the routine. Thank you for the inspiration to get back to the routine.

Posted by Renee on 16 August 2012

It is so wonderful to read comments of others which mirror my experiences as well. I am on a pump and when it works it is great but when it does not it is awful (just like the little girl with the curl on her forehead). So many variables to cause unexpected sugars. Walk an extra block one day and go low. Another day high. Second day with insulin in pump it sometimes gets compromised or the cannula has a mm bend on tip. Of course all this is realized after the fact. I had such high hopes with CGMS only to be so disappointed - bgs could have a difference of 100 pts to my meter (no wonder I felt different than the CGMS said). Walking my dog is my best form of exercise, make it 2 or 3 and it is even better! Besides my dogs always make me feel better when I am down because of poor readings. I can go on and on but Megan's comments started the ball rolling. One last comment, I need to learn more discipline in keeping my yearning for delicious food out of my mouth and over-eating. Is it because I know I should'nt do it or deep down I am rebellious because I do have Type I diabetes. Anyone ever try hypnosis to stop the cravings?

Posted by Anonymous on 18 August 2012

Thank you to Anonymous on the 11th of August. I have had brittle type 1 diabetes for 27 years and was considering getting a pump but after reading what you said, have decided not to.

Megan try suffering from brittle type 1 diabetes and severe endometriosis and then you will truly understand what it feels like to be a true slacker. People like you annoy me you have it a lot easier than most of us think on it.....

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