Do you find yourself indulging in treats when you feel down? I try not to but there are those days. I don’t want to admit what my shopping cart looked like on the 4th of July weekend. I don’t want to, but I will.
I went a little crazy. I felt a little depressed about some happenings in my family and somehow, a gluten free (tiny!) cherry pie leapt into my cart. I say tiny but the diminutive thing claimed it was actually supposed to serve 4 people. Gluten free pie manufacturers are hilarious! For the record, my husband and I did cut it into 4 pieces and eat it over two days. Of course, I had cherry pie in the cart so I had to add a container of gluten free vanilla ice cream. There was also some gluten free coffee cake. I reasoned that it was a holiday after all. Wasn’t everyone having something decadent?
I feel bad but I also feel like I shouldn’t feel bad. Many people can throw baked goods into their carts without beating themselves up over it. If that wasn’t true I doubt there would be bakery sections bursting with goodies in every supermarket. I want to have treats from time-to-time too. It’s hard to pass aisle after aisle of the grocery store when you have celiac and Type 1 diabetes. There are literally entire aisles of food that I cannot eat (one supermarket I visit has an entire aisle of submarine sandwiches, pizza, and pasta dishes). And so I go crazy with gluten free goodies once in a while. I indulge and feel guilty. I question why I can’t just eat veggies and be happy.
I whined to my sister the other night about how it’s been more than 6 months of life after celiac disease and I still feel the urge to cry when I browse a supermarket. I feel lost. I feel sad. I feel overwhelmed. She agreed with how difficult it is trying to decipher what is gluten free and what isn’t. I stand there hopeful, plucking countless items off the shelf only to put them back feeling defeated. I often feel like giving up and leaving my nearly empty shopping cart in the middle of an aisle and heading to my car, but I don’t. I muscle through, trying to put on a happy face because thankfully someone out there knows that even gluten free peeps need to have a treat once in a while.
And so I had some cherry pie a la mode. It was delicious. I also had some of that gluten free coffee cake during the same weekend. Thankfully, I counted my carbohydrates carefully and took the appropriate insulin injection and had pretty happy blood sugars throughout (even a lovely 76 two hours after my treat). I forgive myself for cozying up to that dessert. I am proud of myself for also getting on the treadmill and playing tennis. I’m sure that played a part in the happy blood sugars I experienced. I’ll try to skip the extra treats during my next shopping trip. Still, I know that I am human. I know it will happen again.